A Night at the Pound

Cryptopsy
Cattle Decapitation
The Autumn Offering
Devil Inside
@ The Pound S.F. 031405
Show Review by Andrew Andermatt

I've started attending Craigslist Anonymous group therapy sessions. Today's meeting ran a little long, resulting in me being fashionably late to the show.  I missed Devil Inside, but I imagine they played loud and banged their heads a lot...  Sorry.  I've been at the mercy of "Missed Connections" for too long and step one is punctual attendance (yes I was the tall, dark, 
and handsome guy ordering the lemonade at Hotdog On A Stick!!). The Autumn Offering began just after I arrived.  Being as it was a Monday night,  I  expected a half empty dive bar.  To my relief, the long-hairs, throwing caution to the wind,  showed up in drunken throngs. Within 30 seconds of Autumn Offering's set,  I was cursing the meds which
prevent me from drinking.  Autumn Offering plays predictable, boring, and unoriginal  emo-hardcore that is only moderately entertaining if one is rather sloshed. Why does my medication have to have such a catastrophic
interaction with alcohol? Freakin'  pharmaceuticals...  There is nothing, and I mean nothing at all to distinguish them from their peers.  Quite tiresome,  and their bass player was a nitwit.  He was doing his best Nigel impersonation,  whipping his hair and grimacing like a geezer out of
Fibercon. The crowd wasn't buying it, and were growing increasingly impatient.  Yawn...

Don't fret, oh metal faithful, for Cattle Decapitation have arrived!  Us meat-eating Neanderthals are now at the mercy of these lunch meat-liberating vegans! Singer Travis Ryan lurks the stage like a starved velociraptor.  Hands all curled up, eyes darting across the audience, searching for an easy kill.  His voice is a disturbing, phlegmy mess, ranging from a tibetan-throat-chanting rumble to shrill, Deliverence-esque "squeal like a piggy boy!" screams.  He really knows how to work the crowd! The mosh pit was swirling with blue collar angst, and the headbangers Jager-fuel was kicking in. New drummer Michael Laughin is a welcome addition.  His style is simple, but very fluid and precise.  A definite improvement over the "teetering on the brink of disaster" percussion of former member Dave Astor.  Troy Oftedal's bass still has the grating quality of marbles being  dropped in a  cylinder block. This is either really cool, or really annoying. I'm swaying towards the cool side.  Highlight track was the overpopulation tribute, "Bukkake Tsunami". Great song title!

Canada.  The land that brought us "Strange Brew" and LaBatt's Blue (7%!!). If you're not into hockey or beer guzzling,  how else does one pass the
frozen winters?  By playing insane, warpspeed death metal,  of course!  Cryptopsy have been doing this for quite a while now. And it shows. Hitting the stage pedal to the metal (pun intended),  they tore through the entire "None So Vile" album.  Original vocalist  Lord Worm has returned,  and is as creepy as ever!  His French-Canadian accent gives his English a slightly off-kilter, "is this guy really crazy?" characteristic.  While he seemed a little out of it,  his voice was in fine form.  Grunting and screaming like some self-flagellating lunatic,  Lord Worm had the audience going nuts! While Cryptopsy are considered veterans of the scene,  they still play with the ferocity of much a younger outfit. The well-oiled machine cliche works well here,  as Cryptopsy play like they're on autopilot.
The high point was unanimously  Flo Mournier's wicked  drum solo.  I know, this isn't  jazz improv,  but it really worked!  He's certainly one of, if not the best, drummers in all of death metal.  My jaw was literally on the floor.  He wouldn't stop!  Blazing through sixteenth note assaults like a tourette's patient on crystal meth, the speed he maintained was nothing short of inconceivable!  The crowd was cheering as if he was Laurent Jalabert leading the peloton through the Pyrenees! Allez! Allez!

The show ended with Lord Worm eating live worms and offering them to the audience.  People were literally fighting their way to the stage front for
the "privilege" of being fed worms by the singer!Yeah... um...I already had my daily intake of earth burrowing insects,  but
the offer was  enticing.