Goldie Lookin’ Chain
Straight Outta Newport

I had the hardest time digesting this album. The English boys P. Xain, the Maggot, Mr. Love Eggs, Mytikal, Mike Balls, Billy Webb, Two Hats and Adam Hussain make up this crazy concoction of a collective. As I listened, I got the joke. These guys are absolutely certifiable. I’m not sure what soapbar is, but apparently you can lose your common sense on it. “Last night I went out driving in my car / I sparked up a fat spliff / of fucking soapbar / a blim burnt right down to my dick / and while I was distracted / I fucking crashed into a brick wall”. Then these fools have the nerve to try and rap about love. On the track “You Knows I Love You”, Mr. Love Eggs, P. Xain and Two Hats decide to put some young woman through the pain of their affection. “I wanna take you to McDonalds with a candle / Girl it’s my love you can’t handle.” Oh please.

On a bright note, these guys rap about just about everything, including suicide. “Self suicide is quite funny.” Has this to say: “Proven fact man / if you’re dead, you’ll sell more / that drummer from Def Leppard / His arm made three times what he has”. But my favorite song has to be “Roller Disco”. With the background of “Music” by D-Train, these guys bring back 1983. Goldie Lookin’ Chain wouldn’t be in my collection, but if you like things crazy, this one is off the Richter scale. But ultimately it makes no real sense to me. - Pony J.